My motto is don't do today what can be done tomorrow. You see, my most sinful act of slothfulness is expressed through my procrastination. Let me clarify, my persistent and excessive procrastination.Sounds familiar, yes? I bet it does.
Thing is, I'm not alone on this one, I know I'm not. I think many of us suffer this sin in this manner. It's just so easy to put off going grocery shopping one. more. day. [Until your kids are eating ketchup and mayonnaise sandwiches without the bread.] It's easy to put off starting your diet until tomorrow. And it's way too easy to promise yourself that you will get up and exercise in the morning, so you can
And honestly it's not even entirely our fault. Sloth has become a selling point to the American public, an integral part of society, a way of life even.
Think about it...we drive everywhere even if our destination is within walking distance, we have remote controls for the TV, fast food, Netflix, drive thrus, food delivered to your front door, online ordering, grocery delivery services, dog walkers, and the list goes on and on and on. All of these things/services make it easier for you to sit on your ass and do as little as possible.
Seriously. Any new service or gadget that's new on the market which grants people the ability to be even lazier [if that's even possible] is sure to be a money maker. It's no wonder we are the fattest country in the world.
Now, I may sound like I'm bashing these ingenious, lazy-maker products, but I'm totally not. Oh no, quite to the contrary, I sing their praises. And why? Because I'm a slothful fuck, that's why. I like just clicking a button to change the channel (come on, who doesn't?), I like getting pizza delivered to my door, I like that I can call someone to come and mow my lawn, and I like that if I wanted to, I could order my groceries online and have them delivered to my door. Don't we all though?
My own procrastination is at the forefront of my existence. I often put off tasks, even tasks that would be fun, if they require to much energy expenditure or thought, in exchange for loafing around and letting my brain get mushy. I love vegging in front of the tv and I welcome the slight muscle atrophy that comes with surfing the web for hours on end. My life is consumed with to-do lists that never get done (and a reader that never gets emptied). I will drive the three blocks to my local CVS rather than walk. I will order pizza and groan because I have to get off the couch to open the door, rather than pick it up from the restaurant. I will always use the drive thru lane at the bank, which has a 5 car back-up, rather than get my ass out of the car and go inside where there is no line at all. You can always count on me to search like hell for the tv remote in the couch cushions, or watch whatever lame show is on, rather than actually get up to change the channel. I am that slothful.
I could go on and on about this forever. Seriously, I could, but I just don't feel like writing anymore or even coming up with a witty ending to my little diatribe. So, I'll finish it later...or tomorrow...or which ever comes first...::snore::
P.S. I'm at work right now and can't remember my Mister Linky password so I will add it when I get home...or ya know, later on sometime, whatever...
**UPDATE**
Would you like to hear a bit of irony? Today while at CVS, I locked my keys in my car. Yep. I had to walk three blocks home (oh the horror) to get my spare set, then walk back to CVS and get my car. So much for slothful, eh?
Also, when I said that I like that I can get groceries delivered...I don't actually do that, though I love that I have the option. I'm pretty sure it's more expensive for delivery and you can't use coupons. I'm even more of a cheap bitch than I am a slothful fuck so I'd rather go to the grocery store and use double coupons and stuff. Too bad Cheap As All Hell wasn't a deadly sin because I would embody that one to a T...seriously.
26 comments:
ok, you had me laughing out loud with this post... particularly the ending.
I'm a total procrastinator... but I'm not slothful, if that makes any sense. I just have too much energy to sit around on my ass all day.... but don't ask me to call the repair man... or sign MJ up for that art class... god no. That can be done tomorrow. ;)
Damn - you totally had to go out of order so now I can't write about these very same things. And yes, I do order my groceries online more often than not - because I hate going to the grocery store with kids. And I hate going to the video store with kids (seriously, Sylvia will take 30 full minutes to pick a video). I blame the kids. And if I didn't have them, I'm sure I would find something/someone else to blame!
If only I could get my groceries delivered to my door. I would be in heaven!! ;)
Yes, I would not want to live without remote controls! I'm also not much of a procrastinator - sometimes I am.
Hope you have had a good day - see you - Kellan
Yes, I could relate.
Last week, I called Dominos from their own parking lot to ask if they could deliver to my car, since the baby was asleep.
But, really, I had no problem leaving her asleep. I just didn't want to get out of the car.
:)
Good one! I am such a nap lover-it takes all my self control stay away from my warm comfortable bed when the kids are at school.
My post is going to be on ANGER so get ready for things to get nasty!
In defense of the remote control - We have a gajillion channels now. I don't think I'd know about half of them without the remote control.
Hmmm, I think I just helped you to prove your point.
Hehehe. I will join you in calling myself slothful, my butt has it's own zip code.
OHMommy's comment has me laughing my zip code having ass off.
Wow, there's a lot of truth in here... and a lot of it rang true for me. Thanks for another great post.
My spouse is the procrastinator. It wouldn't be half bad if he would agree that when he puts something off, like taxes, bundling the newspapers, returning the beer bottles (yes, that's why I had so many to photograph in my drinking while blog hopping post--there are truly hundreds in our garage)...if he would agree to let me do it.
But no. And it's that stupidity thing that Cable Girl mentioned and it drives me insane.
I don't have the remote thing, because we only watch movies because I hate TV; therefore, only one channel and it never needs changing. No grocery delivery here, either, but I still realte to the general mindset. I was hope with a sick kid past of yesterday and I totally wasted it by napping. Whatever.
slothful fuck. love it. oh i am i am. poor hubby, he comes up to say goodnight to me (he goes to sleep much later most nights). as i lay in bed, i ask him to go to the bathroom (2 steps) from my bed and fill up my water cup. lazy mofo. that is what i am.
We have to be related....
This is so me, down to the last drops!
hi nikki dahling,
amen sister, beany
You can totally use coupons on having your groceries delivered but you do pay a service charge. Sometimes, it's worth it!
Think about it this way, you may have locked your keys in the car and put off all you had to get done but you got exercise which can add to your vanity!
I am the QUEEN of procrastination. I wrote my 45 page thesis the night before it was due. I sit here reading blogs instead of doing homework. I put off grading papers because I'm just too tired.
First.. let me just make you smile with the fact that grocery delivery can be FREE for the first five deliveries. It was my life saver when I broke my ankle last year. And HELL YES they take coupons.. (my ankle has been healed almost 10 months now and I still use delivery about once a month when I just uber sloth like.
LOVED this post.
This is a great Sloth post...I love it!! I wrote on sloth this week and I took it from a totally different perspective.
This could be a procrastination post that I could write. Like Cablegirl I laughed out loud...thank you!!
Oh girl you're a hoot! My procrastination could beat up your procrastionation anyday! :)
I would have gone back into CVS and asked to use the phone if I couldn't reach my cell and called anyone I could reach to bring me my key or pick me up.
THAT's sloth.
love the post. too lazy to write much more!!
xoxo
Ha, Ha....you had to walk 3 blocks. I get pissed when that happens.
I am the biggest sloth you will know. I feel bad for not exercising but refuse to walk 2 blocks to pick up my daughter from school. However, we do go for 1mile walks usually at night. Does that make sense????
OK, I confess. I'm with you on this one all the way! Very funny post too, you cracked me up!
dude, i waited all day to leave this one sentence comment.
(ok, two: mine'll be up tomorrow.)
Slothful Fuck-def expect to see that line copied. I will try to remember to notate you as the original. That one if effing priceless!!
So I totally agreed with everything in this post! But you know what, I've got the four kids, I think I've earned the right to be lazy every now and then. They certainly don't think so!
Girl, you wouldn't believe I just stood at a kitchen full of dishes last night and said the very motto you posted!! And how many times have I looked up grocery delivery(datblastit if they don't offer it in hodunk dade city!)? (proudly puffing my chest out) I do however try and walk to destinations if they are within reason....like a block!
I love some procrastination. And, I agree. Our society as a whole seems to be on a decline in intellect partially to the lazy factor. When computers check kids' spelling, why learn how to spell?
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